Let Go
by ljsmithfan188
Summary: Sonny's dad abuses her. Her life is different. And she is different. Because she has to be.
1. Prologue

**Okay, so this is my first angst story, and is rated T for self-harm. There will be Channy, I promise! And don't let anything stop you from reviewing! Keep reviewing**!

**Chapter 1**

**Sonny POV**

I watched as the knife cut through my wrist, just _watched_, as my life spilled out. And I knew that I couldn't stop it. It would go where it wanted to go, and it wouldn't ask me what I wanted.

Did I want my dad to abuse me? No. The answer was simple. The outcome wasn't. Ever since I was little, my dad would come home late at night, and I grew up faster than every one else. Because my dad made me. Because I had to. And, like everything else, I had no say. Just as I watched now, I would watch as the blood trickled over my skin, seeing the rich color expose me. Because I knew, even then, that I wasn't like other girls. My mom would say I was different, but I knew that wasn't true. I was cursed. Because I God made me suffer.

And nothing could stop that. I had to deal with it. Because I had to.

**So, what do you think? Good? Bad? Sorry it's short, but I had to make a prologue. Hoped you liked it! Keep reviewing!**


	2. Waiting

**Thanks for all the reviews! I love each and every one of them! And don't worry, I'll make this chapter longer. Keep reviewing!**

**Chapter 2**

**Sonny POV**

I went about my day, acting like I was something I wasn't. Excited. _Happy. Sunny._ Because no one could know. No one _would_ know. Because they wouldn't understand. Because they couldn't.

But, that day, I ran into Chad.

"Watch it, Random."

"Not in the mood, Cooper."

"Don't be like that, Sonny. You know you want me." And there he was again, so full of himself.

"In your dreams, Chad."

"Don't piss off the main character in the number one hit teen drama, Chad Dylan Cooper, thank you very much."

"Yeah, well, your show is about to become number two. Our viewers are raising."

"Yeah, right, Monroe." _Couldn't he see I wasn't in the mood to argue with him?_

So I walked away. Left him standing there. I, Sonny Monroe, blew off Chad Dylan Cooper. That helped me keep the fake smile on my face. I put all my effort into coming up with the new sketches, because I knew when I came home, my Dad would be waiting for me. So I did my best here, and broke down when I was at home. The life of Sonny Monroe.

Then, closing time came. I got into my bug. Yes, I drive a bright yellow bug. I went two miles below the speed limit, in no hurry to get home. Until, of course, when people behind me started honking. I sped up, and arrived home. I opened the car door slowly, walked up the driveway, opened the door, and hid in the coat closet. Waiting for the end of myself.

**I don't know why, but, writing this chapter, every time Losing Grip by Avril Lavigne wasn't on, I got writer's block. Keep reviewing!**


	3. Lucky

**Thanks to all of you who reviewed! I loved all of them! And yes, it is kind of depressing. But I've read other Channy stories on this site that make it hard for me to breathe. And yet, they're my favorites. Hope you all like this chapter! Keep reviewing!**

**Chapter 3**

**Sonny POV**

I sat there. We had a small closet, too. I knew he would find me, anyway. But it took him a little while longer. Drunks can only stay conscious for so long. But, still I sat there, waiting for him. Waiting for the man that ruined my life.

But, still I waited. Time went by slowly. As always. Except for when I was at the studio. The studio where I could be myself. Or act like it was myself, anyway. Because I wasn't her. The girl that skipped into the studio. The girl that hummed when she was thinking of an idea for a sketch. The girl who was full of life. Because I, I was a walking corpse. I wasn't losing myself. I was already gone.

A car door closed. A front door opened. And out stepped the man. Ah, today was a good day. He looked too drunk to stay conscious any longer, and headed upstairs to pass out in the bedroom.

He left me there, to celebrate and to pick up the pieces of what used to be my life. Because I didn't have it any more. I was dead. And no one would be digging me out of my grave anytime soon. Because I, Allison Monroe, am cursed to forever live what is supposed to be my life in the shadows.

And the girl who I envy so much, the girl I despise, the girl that has everything I don't, I created. I created Sonny Monroe. Because she was never there before. And she isn't real. She is like a doll. Looks real on the outside, but is empty inside. Because she is plastic.

Some things can never change. I go upstairs, lie down flat on my back, and stare at the ceiling. The ceiling that has seen everything. From my first abuse to now. I know this isn't me. The real me is inside.

Struggling, _dying, _to get out.

**So, what do you guys think? Not much happened in this chapter but since I have Christmas break for two weeks, I'll update a lot! Keep reviewing!  
**


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